I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
