She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
