If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
