I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
