Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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