jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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