wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and she was petting her beer can
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
