you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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