i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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