I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
