we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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