You're completely useless in the revolution.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
