I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
