And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
