i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
