Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
