Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
