where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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