I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
