we have pet lesbian snakes
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
