I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
