i just google imaged poop.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
