OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
