do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
