thus making me awesome and them whores
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
