I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
