4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
