Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
