Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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