i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
