Are we in a gay sports bar?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
