never play flip cup with pint glasses
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just forgot I was standing up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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