I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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