Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my liver is dry heaving
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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