So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
