forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
