just come out here and I will go home with you...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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