He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
