She is in my trunk
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
