I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
