My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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