I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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