Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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