So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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