Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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