Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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