yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
