I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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