An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
