drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
whose parrot is this?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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