So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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