After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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